Psalm 51

 
My heart has been drawn to this verse for many weeks now. I've read it countless times and prayed it for myself and all those with me in this pit of contrition. For those who don't know the story, here follows a mild retelling (or the whole story is here). 

King David got in trouble with a woman named Bathsheba. She belonged to someone else. His name was Uriah. David slept with Bathsheba and she became pregnant. David then tried to get Uriah to sleep with his wife and take the child under his care. Uriah refused to go home to his wife while his countrymen were at war. Plan B was to take Uriah out to a hotspot in the war and pull back, leaving him to be killed. This worked.

Nathan the prophet came to David to tell him a story. It was the story of a poor man who had one sheep he loved very much. And also there was a rich man who had many sheep and much livestock. But the rich man wanted the other man's sheep so he took the one sheep from the poor man. The story incensed David, and rightly so. He railed against the rich man and said he must die (which wasn't a fitting punishment at all, but how morally superior David seemed!). At this point, the prophet pointed to David and told him he was the man. David instantly repented, and for that, God spared his life. What's interesting here is that David confessed his sin, saying he had sinned against God. Considering he killed the man he had wronged and could not confess to him, this makes sense. But all our sins are ultimately against God.

The prophet then told David his son (from Bathsheba) would die. David knew God's mind could be changed, so he fasted and prayed until his son did indeed die. This seems to be an eye-for-an-eye type of punishment. Under Mosaic law, David would have to die for the sin of adultery. Bathsheba the same. God spared them because David repented, however, his son did die, possibly to atone for the death of Uriah. David and Bathsheba had more children, one of which (Solomon) replaced David on the throne and became perhaps the most blessed king Israel had ever seen. Unfortunately, trouble didn't leave David's kingdom. There were numerous incidents that hurt his heart, probably the most troubling involving his son Absolom, who tried to take this kingdom from him and perished in the process. There are some ugly storylines before David was eventually given rest from these troubles. This is the Old Testament, and many believe God no longer deals with men this way. No, we don't see public stonings of adulterous people much anymore. 

In the New Testament, we have the men who brought an adulterous woman to Jesus as an example of his forgiveness. First of all, where was the man she was caught with (in the act, supposedly)? He should have been put to death, as well. It could be they made the whole thing up to see what Jesus would do. If he had someone innocent killed, that certainly would have been bad news. But, he kneeled down and wrote in the dirt until all the accusers left. A popular theory is that He wrote their sins in the sand.

What does this have to do with Psalm 51? Psalm 51 is David's prayer after Nathan came to him and told him he sinned against God by 1) adultery and 2) murder. David was a man after God's own heart, yet he blundered marvelously in his dealings with Bathsheba and Uriah. Nothing was hidden from God, and I'm sure those in his kingdom were aware as well. It seemed the only one who didn't believe was David. If someone has to come to you and tell you that you screwed up, you are in denial and you are covering up your sin. If David had not confessed his sin when confronted by Nathan, I'm sure the outcome of this story would have been different. 

 
I have claimed Psalm 51 in its entirety for myself and those I've affected by the sin of adultery. This particular part resonates: "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice." I have prayed those things many times, asking God to cleanse me and renew a right spirit in me. The last part about the broken bones, though, needs its own paragraph.

Now, to the good part. Yes, there's a good part. Jesus Christ is the Good Shepherd. David was also a shepherd (as a boy), so he would have known how this works. When a sheep would go astray continually, a good shepherd would sometimes break its leg and carry it with him around his neck. This was so the sheep wouldn't run away anymore and get lost in the short-term, but it was also meant to bond the sheep with the shepherd, ensuring it would never get lost in the long-term. It seems a brutal thing to do — and if God has ever broken you, you will admit it is indeed brutal — but it works. How do I know this? God has broken me. I am not the same man I was. There is no desire in me, no matter how small, to ever stray from my Shepherd again. I belong to Him. I know a little bit of what David is talking about here.

David later talks about being cleansed from bloodguiltiness, which makes sense because he had someone murdered. There's a lot more I can talk about here, and this whole chapter deserves some meditation, but those were the main things that were brought to my attention. I have confessed my sins. I have asked for a clean heart and to have a right spirit renewed in me. I have willingly accepted the punishment God has brought upon me (and, yes, there are numerous punishments I could talk about). And this is me sharing my experience, perhaps the first of many times, so others will not fall into the same snare. For me, it is too late, but maybe my story can help someone else. Praying and claiming this psalm has been a blessing to me, and I hope anyone who reads this will be blessed likewise, no matter how big or small their sin. Thank you for letting me share. God bless.