I’m a bad driver, just like you

There must be something in the water in the Black Hills. I’ve seen the worst drivers of my life since moving here about five years ago. I wish I could say I was any better, but I’m not. While I am originally from the Black Hills, I hadn’t had a whole lot of experience driving here until I moved back. Let me tell you, it was cause for concern. 

I’ve seen all sorts of bad driving, as I’ve been driving for roughly 26 years (not continuously, thankfully), but Black Hills drivers take the cake. The roads in the Hills are curvy. I get it. Staying in your lane can be a chore. Coming across the centerline at me, though, is not fun for me. Quit it.

On the other side of the spectrum are the too-careful drivers who believe breaking the 45-mph barrier will surely propel them into oblivion. Then there are the 35-mph drivers. They are in a category all their own.

Okay, I know there are a lot of reasons people drive slowly. Maybe they’re elderly and their reflexes aren’t what they used to be. I’m beginning to understand what that’s like at my increasingly hoary age. Maybe they’re updating their status on Facebook or adding to their story on Instagram. Sometimes it’s a phone call that can’t wait. It’s amazing so many people anticipate a future with driverless cars. Heck, I’d say we already have driverless cars. They’re all over the road. 

But let’s talk about those speed limits. There are some individuals who like to exceed them. They can be a menace. They seem to be outnumbered by those who have trouble reaching the speed limit, however. 

Dear driver who is going 45 in a 60 mph zone, I realize there are many possible reasons why you are being so cautious. Maybe the terrain is unfamiliar. Maybe you’ve had an accident recently. Maybe you have glaucoma. Maybe your wife is nagging you to slow down and enjoy the scenery. Maybe you just really enjoy torturing the string of drivers behind you. 

If you see us queuing in your rearview mirror, please safely turn off the road at the next turnout area. Those are handly little areas built for people just like you who want to go a slower pace than the rest of us. We’ll all thank you as we accelerate closer to the speed limit. Some of us might even wave. 

Of course, I’m writing this during the off-season when we have fewer tourists visiting. Tourism season is a different animal, and when millions of people are visiting our area, traffic stagnates. When there is construction on those busy roads, then patience is tried all around. But until we all have personal helicopters to get us where we need to go, that’s the way it’s going to be. Let’s hope those helicopters have autopilot and collision avoidance systems. Otherwise, we’ve just taken our traffic to the sky in a never-ending game of chicken. 

Driving South Dakota roads during winter weather is something I’d rather not do too often. Coming from a more heavily-populated area farther east, it’s a little shocking sometimes how the roads are maintained. South Dakota drivers are hearty people, making decisions about where the lanes should be every few milliseconds, judging the trustworthiness of a curve in the road coming up, noting an oncoming snowplow (and the funny guy passing the snowplow as all three are approaching each other). That’ll wake you up better than a cup of coffee.

Also, coming from a place that salts the roads to death (Ohio) to a place where the snow melter often doesn’t work because it’s so cold, I realize other solutions come into play. Sometimes sandy gravel is the answer. Sometimes staying at home and venturing out after the sun has melted some of the snow and ice is the better solution, though not always feasible for those of us with deadlines.  

Now, driving 45 mph in a 60 mph zone is probably not such a bad idea during inclement weather. I’ve had to drive 30 mph in a 60 mph zone just to get home in one piece. Tailgating during a weather event is not a good idea, however, as it does not even allow for the slower driver to pull off into one of those turnout areas. And it’s just rude. 

Let’s face it, I’m prone to doing the same complaints I’ve listed above. I adjust my radio’s volume or seek another station as my eyes should be on the road. I’ve checked my phone while driving. Sometimes my attention is directed too much toward the backseat where my 4-year-old is losing his marbles. Those rumble strips down the center and sides of the road are my friends, alerting me when I’ve meandered unsafely. I need to be a better, more attentive driver. But it’s just a whole lot easier to complain about the other guy.