my eclipse














I carry this darkness
like a cloak
I carry this madness, this violence
in my clenched fists

What I am
is what I've always been
what I'll always be --
singular and strange

I've tried to be normal
I've tried to belong
I sat in your crowds,
played along

But this blackness defines me
this mean midnight I inhabit
speaks for me

I am hidden in it --
total, blinding
sold out to it
swallowed by it

Absolute and utter darkness --
it is a perfect completeness

I've bled more than I've said
no one knows
the untold, the shifting shadows
that make up my
bleeding out
my breathing in
and bleeding out again

Alone I wait
for my eclipse
to fade to sunlight
but time has stopped
and my recovery with it

Can you feel me here?
please silence my screams
silence my pain
and this heart that's had enough

Stamp me out, dear God
there is nothing here worth saving
just burning embers of a life
nearly extinguished
and barely lived.

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