my careless contagion

For months now, I've been watching the COVID-19 pandemic unfold. Initially, I thought people were underestimating it, that we (the U.S.) should close its borders, etc. Now I'm starting to see things that make me worried in a different way.  Something doesn't add up. The news stories of "war zone" hospital scenes are not corroborated by people on the ground. People have gone to those supposed war zone hospitals that are desperately saving lives while untold numbers are dying amidst the chaos, cameras in hand, filming, and are finding ... nothing of the sort. The hospitals are mostly empty. If there are "tent cities" set up, they are mostly empty too. I've been wondering for a long time which way we were being lied to. I mean, China has no new cases of coronavirus just a few months after it all started, yet they're telling us to prepare for 18 months of this crap in the U.S.? And Wuhan residents say the incinerators are "working round th...

What is love? No, not the song by Haddaway. But, really. I want to know what love is. No, not the song by Foreigner. You may ask, "What's love got to do with it?" No, not the song by Tina Turner. Oh, stop, Joshua.  People use the word "love" casually. They talk about how they love their shoes, their favorite shows, and pumpkin spice lattes. Has our concept of love changed? Have we changed?  I like those stories of couples who are married for 60-some years who die within hours of each other. OK, not the dying part, but the rest of it. They spent their lives together and couldn’t exist without each other. But is that love or something else?  What is love? Is it loyalty? (If so, then dogs take the cake.) A feeling in your gut? (Which you may or may not be able to trust.) Cake and a card on your birthday? (All purchasable.) Is there a definition of love?  Love is defined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as, "Charity (aka love) suffereth long, and is kind; ch...

Recently I felt God convicted me of something. I'll mention that in a little bit. But first, I want to talk about the names of God. During these strange and troubling times, it is important to keep our eyes on God because "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)  For those who are sick (or afraid they will get sick), claim this promise: " Bless the Lord , O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's." (Psalm 103:2-5) Recently, I came across the photo below which lists 17 names of God. Of course, the term "recently" doesn't mean much right now. I feel like I'm in a time warp. It may have been last year, actually...

To what or to whom can I liken her? A precious stone? A film star from a bygone era? How about a film star from a bygone era who was known for her love of precious stones? Perfect. Yes, that's what she is. She's perfect. But my analogy is imperfect. Marilyn was typecast as an airhead and easy. My girl is neither of those things. She is all class all the way and all the more inspiring. She's also unattainable. Whatever went through my head when I thought I could be with her — even though it was only for a brief moment — was madness. I may as well imagine myself with Marilyn Monroe. If she is Marilyn Monroe, then who am I? To whom should I liken myself? I am Jay Gatsby. But Jay Gatsby is fictional, whereas I am flesh and blood. Then I'm Joe DiMaggio. Okay, go ahead and laugh. I'm not a baseball legend. But I am in love with an unattainable woman, much like Joe DiMaggio was with Marilyn Monroe. He loved her long after their 9-month marriage ended. Yes, that...

I started this blog two-plus years ago to deal with the emotional fallout of my divorce. I named it My Careless Contagion because I felt I infected those around me with sadness. But I want to talk about a contagion of a different sort in this post. For months, I have stayed silent while the specter of coronavirus has cast a long shadow over our planet. What follows are my opinions only, though I have followed this disease closely since the beginning.   Pandemics have routinely ravaged the planet, killing millions and rearranging civilization in their wake. At this moment, people are referencing the Spanish Flu which killed an estimated 50-100 million people 100 years ago. The fact that we don't know how many actually died is not inconsistent with pandemics, as bodies are normally disposed of in haste and if whole villages die, who is left to count the dead? Satellite images of mass graves laced with lime in Iran have hammered this point home. Are they counting the dead or ju...

  This is a long post I've been working on since last year. A lack of time and health issues kept me from finishing it. I apologize for the haphazard way in which it is written. This is hopefully the last time I will write about this subject in detail. It is entirely too much introspection, and I don't believe God wants me to see myself as a victim (because that can lead to a wrong attitude), though He does want me to understand the problem. Trigger warning: this post contains content about childhood abuse/sexual abuse. I frequently have the opportunity to review books. This one, Being Mean: A Memoir of Sexual Abuse and Survival by Patricia Eagle, came across my desk last year. Patricia's father sexually abused her from the age of 4-13, but the thing about abuse is that it lives on, informing the rest of our lives. It's that legacy the book explores. It's that legacy of abuse that I, too, am attempting to deal with, and will most likely deal with...