my careless contagion

Holiday Road is synonymous with the National Lampoon movies, as it was was created for the original film's soundtrack and ended up on the rest. I recall watching the original couple movies as a kid. They were a bit raunchy, but I'm sure some of that was edited out, as we watched on network TV. I wouldn't let my kid watch them today. How times change.  No one cared what we did back then. Maybe should just speak for myself. Did anyone even know what we were doing? Generation X is sort of the lost generation, sons and daughters of Baby Boomers who were busy enjoying their lives and ignoring the fact they had kids. I was a latch-key kid, independent and resourceful. As I got older, I realized I missed out on a lot by being raised that way. How would I have turned out had I had a loving, tight family instead of being raised by wolves?  It's not that my family didn't love me, it's just that they erased that love with their harsh words and behavior. I am a strong perso...

Nine years it's been. It was today nine years ago you came into my life, small but all there, as the NICU doctor noted. You came early for yourself but late in my life. Someday you'll be stronger and bigger than me. I am grateful God gave me you and all the time we've had together, though it seems improbable that half of it is already gone. I pray you grow strong and brave and faithful to the Lord and go far but always stay in touch. I tried to teach you everything you'll need to know, but only God knows the life you'll live, so I always directed you to Him. He will always be there, even when I am gone. You are the best thing God brought into my life, an unexpected blessing and always loved appreciated. Thank you for being my son.  — Your dad.  Thank you for reading. And God bless. Christian blog:  a-better-hope.blogspot.com And my other blog, None Dare Call It Treason.

Want to know what is strange? I'm 42 years old, yet I have nearly no memories of my birthdays, though I recall my last two birthdays. The one before last year I took a test and didn't celebrate my birthday. My dad sent me some Omaha Steaks, which was pretty nice. I was living outside of Rapid City at the time. Last year I ordered a pizza and shared it with my son in the park. He likes pineapple on his pizza, so say what you need to say about that. We played on the locomotive , which is the remnant of an old railroad museum, at the park afterward. There was no party, but having my son with me was special. That's all that mattered. My favorite girl emailed a birthday wish, so that made my day. She didn't have to do that. Unexpected things mean a lot. What I don't like about birthdays is you get your hopes up and think, erroneously, that it is a special day. Think of it like any other day and you won't be disappointed. Nothing out of the ordinary or spectac...

I'm an author. It's official. It's not a best-seller. I published one book — literally one book. Call it a limited run. It's definitely a limited edition copy. The person who now owns the book is the one named in the title. And, yes, that's a picture of the book cover (minus my name). There is another book by this title out there. I'd like to say they stole the title from me, but I fear it's the other way around. I started working on the book in July, finished it, and sent the pdfs to the printer, which shipped me the book in August. I planned to send it to the girl on her birthday, and thankfully that worked out. Needless to say, it was hard to hold onto it for such a long time. And, after it was clear our relationship was over a long time ago, I still wanted her to have it. Now it functions as a memorial of what we had. Or, at least, what I had, and still have in my heart for her. No, I wasn't trying to win her back. I wasn't trying to do anyt...

Future Keanu is way cooler than Future Joshua. Today is my birthday. I'm 42. Birthdays sometimes lend themselves to contemplation. Once I start doing that, it's easy to get caught up in the drama of the past. After a great disturbance (just like a storm that blows over), it's helpful to put your life in perspective and rest. Then, you begin to ask yourself, "What next?" What does Future Joshua look like? I've been gifted with yet another life reboot. Not everyone gets to start over again as I have. In some ways, it is very tiring (exhausting, really), and in other ways, it is refreshing. There are many big decisions I simply can't handle right now. But that doesn't stop me from wondering and hoping. So, what am I looking forward to?  I feel it's overdue that I settle down somewhere. I'm not looking forward to moving, however, but I want to lay my head down in a place that feels more permanent, a place I haven't rejected as my home...

Today is her birthday.  I wish I was there to pull back the covers from her sleepy head and kiss her tired cheeks and neck good morning. I'd whisper a "happy birthday" before the day even began.  It makes me smile to think of her enjoying her birthday, surrounded by her kids, maybe a family visit or well-wishes, too. And lots of friends wishing her a happy day.  It's Sunday, so I hope she sleeps in. I'd love to sleep in with her and wake to a lazy day full of stuff like a late breakfast, some sports on tv, maybe a brisk walk around the neighborhood or to the park and a hurry-home jaunt home to brace ourselves from the cold with hot chocolate.  I'd love to hold her on the couch with me, sit her on my lap, enjoy her lazy-day-crazy hair and just be.  All of this could have been. S he could have been mine. Our children could cuddle with us, piled on haphazardly in perfect unity, love, and devotion. My heart races when I think of us like that. My m...