my careless contagion

When I moved back to Nebraska last year, and specifically this town, I knew I'd have to write this post. It's part of my retrospective, which I've largely abandoned, as I don't need to look back anymore. But, I felt this needed to be said. From time to time, we need to remind ourselves how far we've come and what great things God has done for us.  I bought Bad Religion's album All Ages (released summer of 1995) in 1995 or 96. All Ages, named thusly because Bad Religion shows (typical of punk rock) were open to all ages as well as the fact the album captured all the years of the band, was kind of a weird concept because it was a greatest-hits album released fairly early in its career. But, it gave me an overview of the band's work and their unusual (to me, at the time) sound. I bought the album on cassette from a music store in the mall of the town I now live in. I recall driving home and being like, "What is this?" I had never even considered a ban...

Wrote this a while back. It’s still good. My writing isn’t very good lately, but it gets the point across.  I was a shy boy, an introvert. Saying anything, especially hello, is hell for people like me. But, saying hello was the easiest thing in the world when it came to her. I said hello once and it stood. One hello. Please stay forever. Saying hello to her was natural and right. It was saying goodbye that didn’t work so well. Some people are always welcome in your life. You hope they make themselves at home. Stay the afternoon, the night, and then a lifetime. Cindy was the easiest hello and the hardest goodbye. In fact, I never really said goodbye. And I don’t intend to. Some people fit perfectly into you. Have you noticed? Like they were carved that way in advance by Unseen Hands. Like they were part of the plan the whole time. Drawn together. Designed that way. Without them, something is missing. With them, one feels whole. That is my girl. That is how I feel. I never wanted to ...

Adapted from a previously unpublished post. Written a while back and edited. I know who is in my heart. I realize this is a tired thread. That's why I surrendered it to God. I will say this. When I spend time with the girl I love, my thoughts and words are different. I am typically logical, methodical, and mechanical. With her, my thoughts and words are like fireworks, all over the place. She touches parts of me I didn’t even know existed, and they come alive just by her touch. There are multiple things about this post I dislike. It’s frustrating because it has some merit, too. What seems to bother me most is examining a scenario I greatly detest, which is being with someone I am not currently in love with. Actually, it turns my stomach. Now  I’m sure you can’t wait to read it. So, here is a very imperfect post about love and marriage (which go together like a horse and carriage, I’m told). I have two more posts after this but felt this one should get out of the way first, since I ...

Yeah. Random stuff. I wanted to dump a bunch of files and comment about them. It keeps me writing but in a different way. Writing about fun stuff draws me in that direction. It remains to be seen how fun this is. The more I go in the direction of happiness and fun, the more I will have that in my life. That is where I am now. Just having fun and trying to stay on the sunny side of the street. I'm happy and doing well, in case anyone wondered about me. If not, I understand. I didn't think about you either. Haha. Kidding. Whoever you are. Thanks for reading! And happy new year!  Yeah, I know. Nobody cares, especially at this stage in the game. But I'm going to have fun with this post, like it or not.  For some reason, when I open Instagram, I see stuff like this. I don't see models. I see this. Why? Because this is what I look at. IG learns and shows more stuff like this. Haha. Opossums and raccoons saying stupid stuff. I love it. Some of it is pretty bizarre. If you need...

I wrote this a bit ago. Not sure when. It’s weakly written but heartfelt. I’m not the most eloquent writer, but God gave me a gift to express my heart. To write about a woman who came back into my life 5 years ago and left four and a half years ago may seem silly to some, but they don’t see my heart like God does.  I feel the need to explain my long-running affection for a woman. I know she’s gone. Trust me, I know. But phooey on that. I still think she’s the best thing since sliced butter. Or diced bread. Or buttered bread. Whatever. She’s the bee’s knees. A godly woman like no other. The virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31. Until someone else comes along to praise her, I will. I imagine someone will be along any day. I don’t have much time. So here goes.  If someone left your life years ago, but you still praise them, they are truly something special. What I intend to do in this post is explain to anyone who doesn't get it what I find so special about her. I will compare...

"Let the sighing of the prisoner come before thee; according to the greatness of thy power preserve thou those that are appointed to die." - Psalm 79:11 I want to relate what happened Wednesday night (Dec. 15). I consider this a testimony of God's power, protection, and love. It may frighten some readers. That is not my intention. Sometimes we have to see the power of the enemy and how God triumphs over it in order to deepen our faith. I praise God for His protection.  I was on day three of a fast to break whatever is preventing me from moving forward in multiple ways in my life. I was praying for victory. The day went well. My son was sick, so I spent the day watching TV with him. At one point we went for a walk, as it was 65 degrees but knew a storm was coming later. Everyone was in good spirits. My son was getting better and eating food like a horse. He took a bath, and then it was my turn.  I read my Bible (including Psalm 79) and another book while in the bath. Nothi...