my careless contagion

Can we try? Can we wade into this together, holding on to one another? This is such a beautiful thing. Please don't worry. Let's enjoy the journey. We don't have to see the whole way. We can trade knowing the future for knowing we're in this together. You and me and yours and mine. Let's do it. Let this thing we don't know what to do with grow from uncertainty to something we can't imagine living without. Please take my hand. I don't want to do this with anyone else.  This thing. It grows. It can take over our hearts silently. We wake and feel something undeniable blossoming within. Let's do this together and call it what we want. No one says it has to look a certain way or progress along a certain path. It's ours. We can take our time. We can press pause. We can jump ahead. Just as long as we do it together. We can meet. Talk. Lay in silence, you in my arms, and me keeping time to the sound of your gentle breathing and the sweet rhythm of your h...

This post about prayer has a sister post about stoicism (believe it or not, they're connected somehow in my mind). Some things I talk about may be hard to accept. I'm not asking anyone to accept what I write. This blog is for me. But, if you are a Christian and feel conflicted about anything I write, ask God. I don't post anything here without first praying about it. I don't expect anyone to accept something strange without first praying about it, as well. After all, Christians are expected to judge all things (I Corinth. 2:15) and to try the spirits (I John 4:1 & 2). In the end, though, this is my journey, and I am simply documenting it. I teach my son to obey me. It's a work in progress. Haha. But, my relationship with him is a constant reminder of my relationship with God — my Heavenly Father (and sometimes my relationship with my earthly father). Obedience is key. Talking back isn't allowed. Obedience is taught in families, as well as in spiritua...

We Don't Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth is a nice pop song. It's a well-done (even the video, which shows both sides), somewhat understated song. Puth's voice is a rarity in the pop realm. It's smooth, not grating, and embraces the notes instead of smacking them upside the head. It's an endearing approach to singing and a little bit of a breath of fresh air. I've admired his voice since the first time I heard him on the radio. Selena Gomez appears on this track. I have to admit, their voices work really well together. That's a rare thing with duet-type songs. Usually, there's a power play with duets, with one voice trying to rise above the other. I don't hear that here.  I don't listen to the radio much anymore because I don't drive that much anymore. So, I have to admit, today is the first day I've heard this song. I like it. It's not over-sexualized or gross. It's just a nice song.  So, clearly, I was attracted to this son...

Her lips moved against mine. I was vaguely aware she was saying something, then her body moved away from mine. An ache moved through me as her fingers trailed down my arm and across my hand and finally my fingertips. She stood next to me for a moment and then she was gone. That was my dream. It wasn't an erotic dream. Just a dream. What remained after the dream was the sense of feeling worthwhile. I've gone for so long thinking I have no worth. It seems inconceivable for a woman to touch me. If a dream can arouse such feelings in me, then it's clear I was getting a lot of my self-worth from being physical with a woman. Or from any physical touch, for that matter. I wouldn't normally write about a dream like this, but it reminded me of something. In any relationship, it's important to understand love languages. My primary love language is physical touch. I'm one of the easiest to please. I didn't always know about love languages. A dear friend expla...

I'm not obsessed, I swear. I just obsessively think about this girl like there's nothing else in the world to think about. Really, it's no big deal.  I've decided on a simple comparison of our lives to illustrate just how impressive I think she is.  After my last Facebook (FB) purge, I have around 80 friends. She gets more than that many likes on her posts. She's one of the nicest, friendliest girls I've ever known with a heart as big as the moon, so it makes sense she's garnered a lot of friends. She doesn't use FB to troll people or post stupid memes. She uses it to reach out to her people, to educate, to praise, to cherish those in her life. I don't currently use FB, but when I did I mostly posted articles about stupid stuff bears were doing. Yes, bears.  She has talents I don't have. This list could be very long. She's creative and crafty. She can bake a cake. She can run a half marathon, mow her lawn, pay the bills, feed the kid...