my careless contagion

  How such a rich forest of emotions grew up overnight, I'll never know. Without care and without tenderness, all around me it grew. It was like a scene from a movie, only it was real and I was in wonder. I was no jaded audience member whining about the CGI. It was as real as the pin-pricks of a freshly-picked rose's thorns. And just as easily as it sprang up, it cried out for water. The shallow roots of the tender plants weren't strong enough to hold them over until the next rain. The fields grew tired and wilted, cried out and died a drawn-out death.  I knew it was all too good to be true. Things like that don't happen to me. Love like that doesn't just come into my life. It was over before I realized it, before I even had a chance to enjoy it. It was almost like a dream, like I had simply imagined it. I was left with the things that had grown around me — trees almost as tall as the sky itself and undergrowth that was once flowering and beautiful — but they w...

The band is Face to Face. The song is All for nothing off their new album. Their newest release is an acoustic album on the venerable Fat Wreck Chords label. This is a sort of greatest-hits album, only with acoustic versions. Trevor Keith's voice sounds strange without cacophonous guitars and a blistering punk rock beat. My first thought was, "Wow, these guys got wussy." Then I listened again and finally felt what they were trying to accomplish. I think it works. When you take the punk rock out and leave the lyrics, sometimes the songs collapse. This is a good song, so it stands on its own.  As is my modus operandi, I'm going to use a song to talk about something pertaining to my life. I'm going to talk about sacrifice. Trevor is clearly talking about a relationship in this song, and the tone seems to be sacrifice. He's saying, "Here's what I've done. It's all to be with you." The lyrics are not as good as they could be. I'm n...

    It's an odd sensation to walk through your days in a daydream state. I know my mind is just protecting itself from further trauma. If only my heart could do the same. I see that girl as a dream because she's long gone. The time I spent with her doesn't seem real anymore. My world is a drudgery that marches to the sound of a dirge. I can hear Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" slow to the pace of a waltz, then distort, then turn to static, and now I just hear the rain. It's somebody's wedding right now, and that song is playing. My heart goes out to them. What happens when all you have is love for the memory of someone but the memory keeps fading? Well, you panic. Then you have to accept it because none of us can bring anyone back once they start to fade. Somone's in the darkroom of my mind, and they didn't mix the developer right; everything's coming out light and faded. I keep telling them to get it right, but they keep...

Dear God, these days have drained me of all life. When I thought I couldn't go any deeper into it, I sunk down further. When I thought I couldn't lose anything else, I lost still more. Maybe thinking is what's doing me in. I guess I don't get the point, and it's not like I ever did. Maybe I just need to see the end of me so you can show me that I'm not really in control. It seems that the end is as near as I want it to be. I want to walk through the cold and cutting wind and into the forest, to sit under a tree until sleep overcomes me. And never wake up. Let the wind molest me. Let the rain fall down. Let the coyotes tear my flesh. Let the beetles and the mice clean my bones. And let the ravens scatter them. The sun will bleach my bones. My flesh will return to the earth. And all the things that perplex me, haunt me, drive me, break me, cut me, and laugh at me will cease to exist. If I lay down under this tree, maybe I w...