Posts

Showing posts with the label 100 reasons I suck

100 reasons I suck (part 3)

Image
67)  Took a nap recently. Is that bad? Yes, because now all I want to do is take naps and hide from people (the latter is normal), so now I’m basically like a large cat, and equally useless. Naps, though good for most, lead to an unproductive existence for me. I’m already immensely uninterested in life. The thing I look forward to all day is when I can go home and lay on my bed and cease to exist for another 8 hours. Sounds healthy.  68)  I like to make fun of silly things. Like rock shops. Who buys rocks? The easily offended shoot back at the heartless monster making fun of folks and their love of rocks. Rocks are kinda like sex, though. You should be able to go find some on your own without paying for someone to give you some. The found ones might be dirty, but, like sex, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just a little extra work. Still, people are offended by my musings.  69) I'm not an expert, but I seem to have at least persistent depression and possibly major...

100 reasons I suck (part 2)

Image
34) I'm hideously bad at small talk. (Actually, I have no interest in trying.) I usually state the obvious. And then I begin to plan an escape. Is there food? Do I need to pee? Can I watch TV? Sit down? Hide? Stare at my shoes? Suddenly feel ill? Take a nap in the coatroom? Oh, holy hell! Help me! I can talk for hours about something I'm passionate about, but I don't care about the effing weather!  35) Sometimes I'm driven beyond reason. I think a healthy drive in life is great. But sometimes I get fixated on something and it becomes more important than food or anything else. It is very odd. Normally, I'm a laid-back individual, but, at times, I am possessed by a particular goal. Nothing suits me and nothing is okay until it is accomplished. While this may sound normal and healthy, I assure you, it is not. 36) I have a wicked temper (at times). I don't think it gets me in trouble, but it can be alarming. We all have stuff to work on, right?  37) I sing as loud a...

100 reasons I suck (part 1)

Image
Do I really have 100 reasons why I suck? We'll see! The suspense is killing you, I'm sure. Why am I doing this? Glad you asked. I realized along the way I smeared some people on this blog, two in particular. I was hurt and angry and now I don't know how to go back and change that. Not only that, but I probably made myself out to be something better than I am. So, in an effort to rectify, I will list 100 of my character demerits.  I was going to divide this into three posts to make it easier to read, but I'm pretty sure no one reads here anymore. Yeah, okay. I'll divide it up just in case. Since it is taking me so long to finish this post, don't be surprised if I repeat a few of the reasons I suck, which is probably another reason I suck. 1) I'm an idiot. We'll come back to this later.  2) Even my son calls me "Bappy," which apparently isn't a good thing. Definition number two here seems oddly appropriate.   3) iPhone. Say what? I got an iPh...