my careless contagion

I don't know when I first started listening to punk rock. Sometime during high school. It is such an expansive genre. My preference was hardcore, notably melodic hardcore. I was drawn to Bad Religion because they were unique and intelligent but also listened to Nitro bands like Guttermouth and AFI. I knew all the Fat Wreck Chords bands. Greatly appreciated Gorilla Biscuits and, later, CIV. I loved Fugazi (I think they were my first show; tickets were $5 plus a Ticketmaster service charge of $1). Later, I got into Social Distortion, Face to Face, Samiam, and others too numerous to list. I had tapes. I had CDs. I had vinyl. Gigabytes of mp3s. Rare stuff, covers, bootlegs, live shows, stuff that was never released anywhere but Japan (why always Japan?). I recall seeing Sick of It All open for AFI and was more impressed with the opening band (even though I wanted to see AFI for about 15 years at that point). I was ready to go home after that. It was ridiculously good. I saw a ton of He...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet) was released in 2004. You may vaguely remember it. You may not! I keep coming back to the theme of this movie in my mind, and for good reason. (It is a cult classic, so I'm not alone in that.) It bears an eerie resemblance to my life.  Is it okay if I spoil this movie for you? If not, don't read further. Here is the synopsis of the movie, taken from this site : Joel and Clementine had been in love, but then their relationship deteriorated to the point where Clementine decided to have Joel’s memories removed from her mind entirely. Discovering that she chose to not remember him anymore, Joel is heartbroken and decides to do the same thing for himself as well. However, as the procedure begins and he relives all memories, both good and bad, he starts to have second thoughts about it. As the world falls apart around him, he desperately tries to save some part of Clementine deep inside his mind, somewhere that he can k...

I don't know where to start with Gitchie Girl. It's a true story that took place in the 1970s. I found myself sobbing at the end of the book, so I don't know if that is a good recommendation or not. It is a truly incredible book. Why is it nonfiction seems so much more unbelievable than fiction?  The book gets its name from a nickname applied to the main character of the story, a girl who underwent unbelievable trauma, only to be retraumatized by society. (Also, from Gitchie Manitou, the park where the atrocities occurred.) Why is that the way it goes? You go through something horrible — and bravely — and somehow survive and society decides they don't want anything to do with you. That's an ugly truth about how the world works. I found myself nodding along. That is my life. I even whined and asked God, "Where is my happy ending?" God's reply: "Your story isn't over yet."  Young Sandra Cheskey during the trial. But this story is not my lif...

Lately, I listened to some old CDs I used to have. Actually, listened on YouTube. I don't know if I still have them. But one was the Cable Guy soundtrack (they gave them away), as well as the Surge CD. Actually, the Surge CD was two CDs; you were supposed to give one to your friend. Remember the ill-fated soda Surge? They tried to promote it with alternative music. The CDs are still out there. If you search eBay, you can find them for as much as $75. I own two because I didn't have any friends. Oh, and Millennium Hip Hop Party, a collection of 90s hip hop, for, well, partying, which was always a hit (go figure) at the few parties we hosted. These albums are time capsules from a better, more interesting time, about 25 years ago. Speaking of old music ... It's time for my semi-annual posting of One More Day by the Descendents (whom I saw perform in Philadelphia many years ago). This is my Father's Day post. In case it isn't abundantly clear, my father was not a good f...

Social Distortion's album White Light, White Heat, White Trash was released in 1996. I wrote previously about a track (I was wrong), which I recall seeing on MTV's 120 Minutes in probably late 1996 when I was home from college some weekend. I didn't know I'd later see the band play many times or that they would become a major influence in my life.  Crown of Thorns was released 25 years ago on the same album and remains relevant. Though it didn't mean anything to me for years, today it does. It's clear the singer/songwriter, Mike Ness, went through "the program," meaning some sort of mind-control protocols. The marks are all over his music, his life, and his body. (Once you know what to look for, you spot it right away.) Mass media, in turn, uses these programmed individuals to program the rest of us. I was thinking about a song on the radio the other day (Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar, who I also saw perform) and how it was blatant programming, ...

67)  Took a nap recently. Is that bad? Yes, because now all I want to do is take naps and hide from people (the latter is normal), so now I’m basically like a large cat, and equally useless. Naps, though good for most, lead to an unproductive existence for me. I’m already immensely uninterested in life. The thing I look forward to all day is when I can go home and lay on my bed and cease to exist for another 8 hours. Sounds healthy.  68)  I like to make fun of silly things. Like rock shops. Who buys rocks? The easily offended shoot back at the heartless monster making fun of folks and their love of rocks. Rocks are kinda like sex, though. You should be able to go find some on your own without paying for someone to give you some. The found ones might be dirty, but, like sex, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just a little extra work. Still, people are offended by my musings.  69) I'm not an expert, but I seem to have at least persistent depression and possibly major...