my careless contagion

This is another one of the posts from this summer I neglected to post until now. Originally, it was two parts, but I failed to finish the second part, so I will delete that. It didn't say anything that hasn't been adequately said already. I know the girl I'm writing about would probably disagree with what I've said here, but we're both adults and I'm allowed to think what I want. She will always be my measuring stick for females. The proverbial dust has settled. I left a relationship and another relationship left me. When you can't have what you want — and that's all you really want — then it's useless to ask what you can have instead. But, let's say I could create my own dream girl. What kind of girl would I create? Well, Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, of course. Except she could squash me like a bug. Okay, definitely not Wonder Woman then.  The best I can come up with is this: I am looking for a woman with a curio...

Perhaps I've been unclear. In all these lines, have I obscured the truth? Let me cut to the chase and clarify. This is my last post about this until time expires. If this is maddening to me, then I'm sure it's at least confusing and annoying for everyone else. Her name is Cindy. She came into my life unexpectedly. Love blossomed unexpectedly. I didn't expect her to stay, which is the only thing I saw coming (or, going, as the case may be).  I never wanted her to get divorced. There, I said it. I did not foresee her getting a divorce, nor did I want that for her. But, why, you ask; if you're in love with a woman, wouldn't you want to be with her? I can be in love with her and not be with her. If a man truly loves a woman, he wants her to be happy, and divorce is the opposite of happiness. I didn't want to see her go through that, nor did I want to see her children go through that, and even her ex, even though my humble opinion is he doesn't deserv...

This girl may need to see a doctor, as it appears she has measles. This blog is an accurate, though painful, chronicle of parts of my life going back 1.5-plus years. I began this blog (Jan. 28, 2018) shortly before my divorce was finalized (Feb. 8, 2018) as a way to bridge the gap between being a married man and being a divorced man, full knowing there would be fallout to deal with and no one to help me. Even if no one reads this blog, it still stands proud and proclaims I am worthy of being heard, I am a human being with thoughts and feelings, and my life is worthwhile and has meaning (which is the antithesis of my childhood). As I write this, I feel the majority of the work has (perhaps implausibly) been done. So, it's time to recognize this feeling. I've built the bridge. I've made it to the other side. I am a single, divorced man who feels somewhat comfortable with that status. Hurrah! Let's face it. I never thought I'd be married. I certainly never thou...