my careless contagion

Future Keanu is way cooler than Future Joshua. Today is my birthday. I'm 42. Birthdays sometimes lend themselves to contemplation. Once I start doing that, it's easy to get caught up in the drama of the past. After a great disturbance (just like a storm that blows over), it's helpful to put your life in perspective and rest. Then, you begin to ask yourself, "What next?" What does Future Joshua look like? I've been gifted with yet another life reboot. Not everyone gets to start over again as I have. In some ways, it is very tiring (exhausting, really), and in other ways, it is refreshing. There are many big decisions I simply can't handle right now. But that doesn't stop me from wondering and hoping. So, what am I looking forward to?  I feel it's overdue that I settle down somewhere. I'm not looking forward to moving, however, but I want to lay my head down in a place that feels more permanent, a place I haven't rejected as my home...

Thanks, guy. Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting. - Daniel 5:27 My blog is all about being honest. I've done considerable soul searching over the year and a half this blog has been running. What I want to do in this post is to compare myself to the girl I love's ex-husband (We'll say his name is DC for our purposes) as well as expound on some of the reasons I won't get the girl. Fifty reasons doesn't seem like enough. I think the whole world was against us.  I've never actually met this man, DC. He popped in a couple times when I visited the girl at her house while on vacation, but I was always in a different room or outside. So, the only way I know any of this is through my conversations with her, conversations that took place years ago.  Am I doing this to self-flagellate or put myself down again? Well, I sure hope not. I know I've done a lot of that in the past. That's not my intention this time. What I want to do i...