my careless contagion

"For a meaning of the name Isaiah, NOBSE Study Bible Name List reads  Yahweh Is Salvation , Jones' Dictionary of Old Testament Proper Names has  Salvation Of The Lord . A remarkable feature of the name Isaiah is that it consists of the same two elements as the name  Joshua ( יהושע ). The name Joshua is the Hebrew form of the Greek name Jesus, and most probably the name by which Jesus the  Nazarene  was known by His contemporaries." What's in a name? Plenty. When Saul was on the road to Damascus and Jesus turned him around, He also changed his name. To Paul. Why? Saul means "destroyer," and Paul means "builder," which is a fitting thing considering his missions before and after Jesus spoke to him. Before Jesus spoke to him, his mission was to destroy the fledgling church of Christ, and God changed his mission to build the church of Christ. How many times in the Bible did God tell someone to name their child such and such a name? Why wou...

What is the nature of failure? What defines failure?   No, this isn't another post about how much I hate myself or my life. Really, I'm just asking questions and positing the truth. So, before you say, "Here we go again," relax. This isn't another I-hate-my-life post. It's just an honest assessment. A child has many people to look up to. But, a child also has many people telling him (let's assume it's a boy for our purposes) he's wrong. Tell a child this often enough and he becomes angry or sullen. And then he assumes he is always wrong. How do I know this? I was that child. In fact, I am still that child, and those same people who told me I was wrong back then still tell me I am wrong today. In fact, I feel I've never been right about anything. I've been swimming in a sea of wrongness my entire life! On a fairly recent and random Saturday, I realized in many people's eyes (or, potentially, if they have all the facts), I am a fa...

  One of the weird things about me is that I forget about myself. That may seem strange to my readers, as I'm writing about myself here an awful lot. However, this forum is the exception. My life is not my blog, though I talk about my life here. Most of the time, I simply disappear. Maybe we all do this to some extent. Anyway, as a fun excuse to write, I thought I'd post a few of my favorite things (and strangely enough, somehow Taylor Swift shows up yet again). Here they are in no particular order.   Food - I've always thought food was pretty bomb. When I was a baby, I was eating food. In fact, I still eat food. I eat food almost every day! Though the importance of food has become pretty basic (as in, I need it to live), I still think food is pretty great. While there aren't any "floor lunches" with meats and cheeses and breads and olives and other stuff from Zingerman's anymore, I still get down for some boiled peanuts and pistachio ice crea...

I always wanted to be a father. I remember working with people who said they wished I had been their dad. Let's face it, dads are in the doghouse these days. So many men have reneged on their responsibilities at home to their wives and children and, most importantly, to God. I thought I could be a good dad. My son sometimes feels like the easiest person in the world to live with. He's smart, vocal, clear about his opinions, and wants to do the right thing. The flipside of that is a monster I cannot even see around. It fills the room and all I can see is that beast staring at me — immobile, resistant, defiant, foul, and hateful.  Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Doing it alone is even harder. My heart hurts for all the single moms and dads trying to make a living, trying to raise good kids, and trying to have a life (if that's even possible). It is the single most humbling task I've committed myself to. I never go to sleep at night thinking...

He likes to layer his look. He has two watches on and lots of stuff in his pockets, too.  I miss my son. He's the child I never thought I'd have. I wanted many children, but I got one. But he's worth a whole bunch. If you met him, you'd understand.  I miss him because I don't get to see him much. Even though I'm not sure what to do with him or what to say to him, I still want him around.  My prayer was I'd be able to go back to school. I abandoned all hope of being able to finish what little I could, which turned out to be an associate's degree. I left these things in God's hands and told Him I'd go back only if He opened the door. I was surprised once again because that door flung open this year.   I have 50 percent custody of my son, which I thought was fair. I could have had primary custody. I didn't think that was fair to my son or his mom. But, I don't see him 50 percent of the time because I work full-time and am taking ...