my careless contagion

Someday, to someone, who is out there somewhere, I will say these words. Not these exact words, and maybe not even said out loud, but, at the very least, it will be communicated by an important part of my being — my heart.  I pledge to protect you, provide for us, give you my name, my honor, my heart, my being. Every part of every fiber of me down to my very DNA. I don't seek to make you mine. I seek to give you everything that is mine, from the mundane to the noble. My hopes. My dreams. They cover you. They cover us.  You are safe. You carry my name. But, more importantly, my prayers blanket you. The language of the love a man has for a woman has been slighted, slaughtered, and lost. But I speak that language to you every day in a thousand ways, and often without words. I'm not special. But I speak the ancient language of a man who loves a woman.  You were gifted to me by Unseen Hands. I accepted you and the tacit agreement to always love and cherish. The world has forgo...

My life is a movie. This time the movie is La La Land with Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.  Spoiler alert: he doesn't get the girl in the end. Well, maybe in his mind, as we see in a moving little montage toward the end where he inserts himself into her life for a moment. It's beautiful. It's perfect. It's not real. This movie, which is ridiculously nostalgic and Hollywood-ish, well, it doesn't let you get your perfect ending.  You want them to be together in the end. You really do. But they aren't. The reasons are there, of course, but your heart wants them to be together anyway. They had their shot. They were good for each other. Isn't that what matters? They helped each other get what they wanted out of life, but they somehow gave up on each other. Those things became more important; with him, it was his dream of opening a jazz club, and with her, it was her dream of becoming an actress.  The end is sad. I cried. I could see myself sitting there...