my careless contagion

The song doesn't matter. It's a good song. A catchy pop song. I don't know if it's a love song. It's a when-something-good-is-about-to-end song, maybe. A good radio song. It's actually quite hard to craft a simple song like this. It's much harder to leave it simple than to embellish it and  adulterate the heart of a song with too much music. A lot of people don't realize that a somewhat narrow band of music is appropriate for radio because of the frequencies used to broadcast. Some sounds don't come over the airwaves very well. When I listen to songs for, say, a post like this, I use my Bose headphones because the sound is better than the iMac speakers. But, I also know I'm listening to a digital reproduction of a performance. If you listen to something such a CD, which almost no one does anymore, you have to realize it's compressed. It's a digital copy of a live event. So it's ones and zeroes. All the quirky, spacey sounds are lopped...

I visited McCook, Neb., again Feb. 5 and 6 (no, I didn't take these photos). This post contains thoughts about my time living and going to school here more than two decades ago, probably reconstituted from previous visits, but I felt something was left buried here, like the reason why my life went a completely different direction from what was anticipated. Also, I really wanted a bath so got a hotel room with a bathtub. I needed some time away and knew if I stayed close to home, I would end up at work (and the point was to get away). Anyway, what happened? Well, for one thing, I saw Cindy for a bit. More later. Also, this is a long post. Sorry.  Why McCook again? Am I obsessed? Vaguely. I actually dream about this place: the streets, houses, smells, feelings, and what I did. We often dream about unresolved things. Maybe it is about my education. Maybe about a girl. Maybe about youth wasted. Maybe all of it. Driving the streets and highways I used to drive brought back one overridin...

I've walked through 600 miles of pain so much was said and done I don't even remember my name I retraced my steps down to the river  where I watched her lifeless body float away, forever away and by the railroad tracks where I drank in my car and broke my empties on the hollow moon, his eyes sadder than mine I fled from everywhere just so I could breathe but the places I found strangled me just the same It seems the blows keep coming like a metronome keeping time The stars shine down on my madness tonight what I've done I cannot undo my apologies flow like a river and it will never be enough to save them from what I've done or save me from this bitter, seeping wound Precious things and precious people I'm not allowed to have they slip like sand through these slick hands What makes you roar, son is what keeps you alive then, sir, it's pain and hate and rejection and trauma and suffering flowing in my veins no wonder m...