my careless contagion

When I touch you, what does it mean to you? I may never know, as you are a mystery to me. A beautiful mystery, and you hide so much in your heart. Can I tell you what it would mean to me to touch you, to be with you, to make love to you someday?  It would be unlike anything I've had before, for you are unlike anyone I've ever known. I could tell you I'd be loyal and kind and tender and gentle and loving, but you already know that.  My love, I'd hold you like you fell from the stars. My fingers would speak for me, and my heart would be in my hands. Every caress would be an affirmation and a revolution.  I won't ever hurt you like he did. I know you can't believe that now. You'll never have to wonder where my heart is or what I'm thinking about when I'm with you. It will always be you. Even if I never have you and reluctantly have to let you go, it will always be you.  Laying with you would be a dream come true. Holding you would be incompr...

My life is a movie. This time the movie is La La Land with Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.  Spoiler alert: he doesn't get the girl in the end. Well, maybe in his mind, as we see in a moving little montage toward the end where he inserts himself into her life for a moment. It's beautiful. It's perfect. It's not real. This movie, which is ridiculously nostalgic and Hollywood-ish, well, it doesn't let you get your perfect ending.  You want them to be together in the end. You really do. But they aren't. The reasons are there, of course, but your heart wants them to be together anyway. They had their shot. They were good for each other. Isn't that what matters? They helped each other get what they wanted out of life, but they somehow gave up on each other. Those things became more important; with him, it was his dream of opening a jazz club, and with her, it was her dream of becoming an actress.  The end is sad. I cried. I could see myself sitting there...