my careless contagion

This is not a joke, though some may laugh. My blog feels like a joke, but it is a place to pause and reflect or, in this case, examine. And maybe find a solution. Betty and Veronica are characters in the Archie comics universe, which I grew up with. Archie is a ginger buffoon, forever caught between competing love interests of two girls. I use the names Betty and Veronica because the girls in question have the same name. I cannot, for the life of me, choose one. It's distressing. I pushed both away at different times, and with the same result. They are unshakable, and I like them both.  Who cares, right? Bro is cooking. Here's why this matters. There is some weird, perverse voodoo with this blog, where, if I write about a woman, she often disappears. So, in order to solve the problem of having two girls interested in me (first time for everything), I will write about them and see who disappears. Call it a test. At this point, I don't care how it is resolved. I go back and f...

Stop sounding so fucking sad.   This is a screenshot from American Psycho , a movie I've never seen. I've read the book, and that's enough, as I'm still disturbed by that book many years later. No work of fiction I've ever read has affected me like American Psycho . Bret Easton Ellis' characters are so devoid of humanity, it's unreal. Or perhaps too real. His books are about characters I don't care about, even hate. But they are compelling. It's amazing to read a book and not find a single character you enjoy or relate to. Sometimes my life has resembled his fiction, sadly.  There are a lot of reasons for me to feel sad. There are a lot of reasons for me to feel upset. Those reasons have always existed. Some will never go away. But, sadness is a choice. And, if sadness is a choice, then it follows that happiness is a choice. I've had enough sadness to last a lifetime. I choose happiness. I choose joy. I choose silliness and fun and all the...