my careless contagion

The Love of My Life is a lovely book by British author Rosie Walsh. The Brits do some good writing, I must say, though I'm mostly familiar with classic English literature, the kind that makes you want to go for a walk on the heath or throw yourself off a chalk cliff. I wonder how many people who read romance novels realize the idea of romantic love is a relatively new construct. In fact, romance novels did much to popularize it. There is some argument, of course, but historians generally agree marrying for love is a new concept and not a base instinct. Romantic love, as we call it, lasts no longer than 3 years. No wonder so many marriages fail. True, love is just a choice we make, otherwise the Bible wouldn't tell us to love one another or for husbands to love their wives, etc. It's a choice. But, for most, they need the feeling of falling in love first. That chemical bond is necessary. Hormones. Attraction. A woman knows within seconds if she wants to make love to a man. M...

Though I realize this blog is long in the tooth and probably isn't read much anymore, I still use it as a space to discuss and heal. It is a very personal journey. If I invited you into this space, I hope you realize I did not do so lightly. You may not understand everything I write, but I hope it gives you an accurate picture of my struggles and triumphs.  I used to think we all had weird families. That was my honest belief. The more I looked around, the more I realized, no, we do not all have an odd upbringing. We certainly did not all have abusive childhoods. Then I started to get upset. I started to really dislike those "normal" families and their picture-perfect lives. I used to keep photos of some on my walls. Now that's weird . But, it's true. There was a congressman from a town I lived in years ago. I kept photos of his family on my walls. His wife wasn't very nice to me when I interacted with her at my job. Their children are doubtless grown and beaut...

The Giving Tree is a metaphor for ... well, giving human beings. I use it here that way. I realize Shel Silverstein was a certified creep . And, I know many now say the book is a metaphor for enabling and abusive behavior. I don't disagree. But, looking at the book without any of that, what is your first impression? It's sad, of course. But, it's also hopeful. And, it is about endless giving, which is beyond my comprehension. I believe that is how Jesus tells us to live. We are to give until there is no more to give. And then give more.  I know a person who exemplifies that giving spirit. This post is dedicated to her. After I learned more about her father, I saw where she got some of her tendencies. And her big heart that loves God and His creatures. I thank God every day I got to know that girl. I fell in love with her heart and will love it forever — even after I die — because it reminds me of God's love. She is the giving tree. She shows God's love. She makes me...

I don't know where to start with Gitchie Girl. It's a true story that took place in the 1970s. I found myself sobbing at the end of the book, so I don't know if that is a good recommendation or not. It is a truly incredible book. Why is it nonfiction seems so much more unbelievable than fiction?  The book gets its name from a nickname applied to the main character of the story, a girl who underwent unbelievable trauma, only to be retraumatized by society. (Also, from Gitchie Manitou, the park where the atrocities occurred.) Why is that the way it goes? You go through something horrible — and bravely — and somehow survive and society decides they don't want anything to do with you. That's an ugly truth about how the world works. I found myself nodding along. That is my life. I even whined and asked God, "Where is my happy ending?" God's reply: "Your story isn't over yet."  Young Sandra Cheskey during the trial. But this story is not my lif...

Lewis Carroll photographed with a bevy of young children. Lewis Carroll is the pen name of a man named Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, known most for writing Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass . He died in 1898, so why is he still relevant? Is what he wrote that important? What is his legacy? Unfortunately, his legacy is a dark one.  This is not going to be an exhaustive account of the man's legacy. It is simply my thoughts on why he is still relevant today. Much has been written about the man and his legacy, and I don't intend to add another tome. However, as I was watching a movie last night (considered a horror film, which wasn't scary), this man's legacy reared its ugly head yet again. In the film, there was a ghost by the name of Alice, and her father's ghost's name was Henry. This was too much of a coincidence. As anyone who knows anything about Carroll and his Alice in Wonderland, there was a real-life girl named Alice. A...

  This is a long post I've been working on since last year. A lack of time and health issues kept me from finishing it. I apologize for the haphazard way in which it is written. This is hopefully the last time I will write about this subject in detail. It is entirely too much introspection, and I don't believe God wants me to see myself as a victim (because that can lead to a wrong attitude), though He does want me to understand the problem. Trigger warning: this post contains content about childhood abuse/sexual abuse. I frequently have the opportunity to review books. This one, Being Mean: A Memoir of Sexual Abuse and Survival by Patricia Eagle, came across my desk last year. Patricia's father sexually abused her from the age of 4-13, but the thing about abuse is that it lives on, informing the rest of our lives. It's that legacy the book explores. It's that legacy of abuse that I, too, am attempting to deal with, and will most likely deal with...