my careless contagion

This is my (brilliantly titled) end-of-year post. And what a year it has been. I apologize in advance, as this is a long post. Ya might wanna get some popcorn. 2019 started with a hefty dose of back to reality. It's definitely been a strange ride. Some highlights include seeing Cindy and meeting her kids (a highlight for me, probably not for them), as well as seeing my son embrace Play Partners (which is a sort of junior kindergarten which meets twice a week). Next was getting my two-year degree. I felt good about those things. Unfortunately, the year ended knowing there was no desire for a relationship on Cindy's end. She decided to mend her relationship with her ex. That's definitely good for her, as it was hard to see her wallowing in what I thought was indecision. Bad for me, though. All the illusions I had about us ended. But, that doesn't take away from good things that happened this year. And all I can do is follow God's lead, even though it takes me une...

The start of a new year is often a time for change. People often see it as a marker for a beginning of sorts. Maybe they want to see new places. Maybe they want to meet someone new. Maybe they want to wear a new body. For me, seeing January show up on my calendar is a relief. Now I can say, "That was last year."  I thought my divorce was to be finalized in 2017. That's what my lawyer told me, at least. But, this is Custer, where everything takes longer than it should. So, my divorce landed in early 2018. It took seven months, which isn't long by anyone's standards, but it still took too long. I've waited a year to say, "That was last year."  Many of last year's struggles were life-changing and far-reaching. I am tired of big things happening. Actually, I'm just flat-out tired. Last year almost did me in. Without going over the many things that happened, it's safe to say it was one of the most change-filled years I've ever exper...