my careless contagion

Leave it to me to have further thoughts and no one with whom to share. Until I have a reliable confidante, I will dump here.  Been listening to podcasts and sermons lately on my walks and during work. Interesting one from Derek Prince about the fear of the Lord . He stated that what we fear is our god. It could be anything. I looked inside and realized my personality is designed to protect my wounds, and being wounded was the thing I feared the most, as evidenced by what happened two months ago. I was like Job with the thing he greatly feared.  So much energy was directed at protecting myself I often neglected to follow through with normal Christian behavior, loving those around me, giving of myself, dying to self, etc. Given this revelation, it is sinful to act or react based on the needs of my wound or trauma. That means my recent reaction was sinful. It was an ugly realization, and I prayed God would change my personality if necessary. I also apologize to the one I hurt. I ...

The way forward after romantic disappointment is hard to see in the immediate aftermath. After much prayer and seeking God, I compiled statements that helped me define the way forward. They were helpful for me; maybe they will be for someone else. If I can prevent even a little heartbreak, it will be worth it. I forgive them. I forgive myself. Pray for them and ask God to bless them with healing or whatever they need the most.  I'm sad it ended, but I know I will be okay. Time and healing. You'll get there. It may be hard to see right now, but hang in there and you will look back in wonder at how far you've come.  What happened doesn't define me. I refuse to see myself as rejected. God loves and accepts me, and there is no higher love than His.  It wasn't all bad. There were good things, too. It's okay to remember the good things about the relationship. Recognize those were real moments and the feelings you had were real.  It's healthy to let go when things ...

A post no one asked for. My last post was kind of like the movie 28 Hours Later. This one is more like 28 Days Later. (Those who've seen the film will recognize the photo of him waking from his hospital bed to a very different reality.) If I'm still here writing when it's time for 28 Years Later, shoot me. Honestly, though, the comparison of my love life to a zombie apocalypse is apropos.  I can see why, in the old days, jilted lovers ended up in the loonie bin or went off to join the Foreign Legion. Because so many of your thoughts are about one person, and when that person leaves your life, you still think about them (synapses gotsta synapse), and your own thoughts become enemies. You can't escape your own brain. I don't know why my reaction was so powerful, but the upside of having an explosive emotional reaction is getting over it fast.  It doesn't simmer or twist or churn inside. Just felt what I needed to feel and was done.  I'll never feel those thing...