my careless contagion

James Bay's Wild Love , featuring a blonde Natalia Dyer (and an unholy number of purple butterflies), was originally a song I steered away from. I like the song, actually, but I wasn't able to agree with the sentiment because I was going through a tumbler of heartache and change. Lately, I've started to see the light at the end of the tunnel (and I hope it's not an oncoming train). Could I be close to being ready to love again?  Let me say that I'm not in a relationship right now. I'm in love with a woman, but I'm not in a relationship. I'm free to do as I please, which up until now has mostly consisted of avoiding life. I know I'm not ready for a relationship, but I see daylight, and it's nearly time to get up out of this slumber and face a new day. At least I get that feeling more often these days. The truth is, I may never be ready to move on, but there's something in me that says I have to at least try.  I have taken a few moments ...

Wild love by James Bay is a song about sex. C'mon. What else could it be about?  Now that I'm a bachelor on the prowl (hahahahaha), this theme seems to be popping up a lot in my brain. I notice it everywhere because it is everywhere. People have sex. If you're in a relationship, you're having sex. Or you're 90 years old and not having sex and wishing you were having sex. But you probably don't call it "having sex" when you're 90 years old. You call it "giving her the time" or the more modern parlance of "gettin' all up in that." Haha, no. Just ... no. Since it's been forever since I've had sex, it's something I now contemplate as an idea or a concept instead of something I can go home and actually take part in. It allows me to take it apart and look at it. This is where thinking about sex starts to make sense. See, I was doing it all wrong.  For starters, sex was probably the best thing about my 20-ye...