My dearest
I wrote the main section a while ago. Tacked some thoughts on the end recently. *** My dearest. For someone who is not in my life — and hasn't been — I think about her far too much and far too often. For a man used to running from women, how did I end up like this? How did one little girl suspend my aged logic? How did one girl manage to turn everything upside down? S he tamed me. I was wild. I was free. But she made me hers. I don't think she understands how suddenly nervous I become when I am near her, how awfully dry my mouth gets, how my brain freezes and I become dumb, the words won't come, my hands start shaking, and I become strangely and uncontrollably emotional, like tearing up talking about any stupid thing. I wonder what is wrong with me, why I am so off. This isn't me! Who is this idiot? What makes a man like this? What tears through his bravado so easily, rendering him naked? To stand in front of the woman you love with a naked heart is something rar...