my careless contagion

The food here has more variety. And all the restaurants are pretty good, as far as I can tell. Asian. Mexican. Whatever you want. There is even an Indian restaurant down the road. And, if you want to go further, there are shops! Grocery stores that stock Asian, Indian, and Mexican food. I used to go to Lincoln when I was in high school, and I always perused the Asian stores on O Street. I love those places, though I'm less adventurous now. One time I bought some shrimp thinking I would cook them, but then the shopkeepers asked where I was going fishing with the shrimp. So, I guess most bought shrimp as bait. So I went fishing. It was terrible bait. Should have eaten it. Or maybe the fish knew something I didn't.   I don't know why, but people here like to honk. Like, hey, we are all driving as safely as we can. Chill the heck out. You live in Kearney, Nebraska, not New York. Trust me, you have nowhere to go. The old lady you're honking at is now flustered and will proba...

Me, when I was a boy in the 80s. That hair. It's either a helmet or a Q-tip. Hi, my name is Joshua. I don't think we've officially met. I write this blog.  I want to back up a little bit. All the way back. I was born in Hot Springs, S.D., in September of 1977, the third and final boy to Baby Boomer parents. My dad was an entrepreneurially-minded Vietnam veteran and my mother was a homemaker who also had a more-than-full-time job. As if minding three boys wasn't enough. My dad is a classic first-born, my mom a second-(and last-) born.  I'm the dinky one. Growing up in the 80s in a small town in South Dakota was pretty carefree. I've talked about my childhood years quite a bit here, so we know those years weren't perfect. There were a lot of good things to be thankful for, though.  I don't know much about the rest of the state, but I do know quite a bit about the Black Hills. It's been called "the land of infinite variety." It...

This may be the hardest thing she's ever been through. This thing I've helped set in motion has unfairly impacted her and her little ones. This thing ... is just another trauma in a string of unsettling, traumatizing events. She's shielded her little ones from his actions. But, she couldn't shield them from mine. No, I've not been the one to heal her. But, I pray for him, whoever he is. This is my prayer. I pray you're a man after God's own heart. You'll need to be. You'll need to be selfless and strong in something other than yourself, something other than those around you. You'll have to be strong in the Lord. There will be times you'll feel slighted, rejected, left out, unable to make progress. Put yourself aside. You'll have to trust God because you can't give in to discouragement. You'll have to be more than a man, and I'm sure you will be. I pray you have a healing touch, for this woman has been abused (there...

Dear God, these days have drained me of all life. When I thought I couldn't go any deeper into it, I sunk down further. When I thought I couldn't lose anything else, I lost still more. Maybe thinking is what's doing me in. I guess I don't get the point, and it's not like I ever did. Maybe I just need to see the end of me so you can show me that I'm not really in control. It seems that the end is as near as I want it to be. I want to walk through the cold and cutting wind and into the forest, to sit under a tree until sleep overcomes me. And never wake up. Let the wind molest me. Let the rain fall down. Let the coyotes tear my flesh. Let the beetles and the mice clean my bones. And let the ravens scatter them. The sun will bleach my bones. My flesh will return to the earth. And all the things that perplex me, haunt me, drive me, break me, cut me, and laugh at me will cease to exist. If I lay down under this tree, maybe I w...