my careless contagion

Normally I feel like Evel Knievel. Being sick, I feel like I got run over by Evel Knievel. While the body is sick, the mind continues to churn, though muddily. I've been sick for almost two weeks now. I've had just about every symptom possible. It's been a merry-go-round of misery I can't seem to get off. When you're sick, priorities change. You no longer want to conquer the world; you are only interested in surviving the next two minutes. You don't care a whit whether anyone loves you or hates you or what tomorrow may bring. It narrows your focus by necessity. I think of it as kind of like being drunk 24/7. As long as you have medicine flowing in your veins, you are okay, even though you may be in a burning building.   I don't get sick often. And it never lasts more than a couple of days. To be sick for two weeks is almost unheard of. It's almost like a somatic illness, possibly triggered by recent personal disappointment and made worse by my r...

There's something wrong with me. Besides the obvious, I mean.  I've hesitated to write this post for a long time, the reason being I don't have the wherewithal to understand what is wrong. So, this is an exploratory post. I hope that by releasing my thoughts about this I will understand what's happening. By the time I put the final period on this page, I will know more than I do now.  I was going to write this post Sunday (who knows when I'll post it) but decided to go for a hike instead. I put my hunting gear on just in case. Turns out I made the right decision, as I bagged one of the largest whitetail bucks I've ever had the opportunity to hunt. The fact that I walked away from writing this tells me two things: 1) I'm putting less of my life on this blog, which is good because I'm actually living my life, and 2) I'm scared of writing this post, which is odd for me because I favor finding the truth in everything.  This is an uncomfor...