my careless contagion

I am done. No more classes. No more books. No more teachers' ... emails.  As much as I would love to continue my education, it's okay if I don't. I miss my son, and the time I spent reading and doing assignments and tests and discussion posts can now be spent with him.  I feel grateful to have finally finished a two-year degree. I know it's not a real degree, but it's something . It may not mean anything in the real world, especially at my age, but it feels good. Once upon a time, I took an academic scholarship to a community college (based mostly on my ACT score of 29) for granted. Now, I am extremely grateful to have finally completed an associate's degree and to have completed it after more than 20 years' hiatus. How ironic. How I've grown. It's anticlimactic. It's just over. Part of me will miss it. Part of me was ready for a break. I've been taking classes on and off since 2017. I've barely had time for living during the ...

I'm so tired of being tired. I just want it all to end. If there's no Great Beginning and no Great Perhaps, then that's alright. I just need to lay down and not get up again. This is me walking away.  Nothing makes sense anymore; I've only tried to do what's best, what's right. I never said I was perfect. I'm sorry for my mistakes and missteps; if I could walk them back I would. I've led a pretty decent life, and it's okay to let it go. So, this is me letting go. When we broke, I broke too, and that's not like me. I don't break like this, not over a girl. But you're not just an ordinary girl. You're the girl I want. If I had done one good thing for you, maybe it would be okay. I couldn't help but ruin a beautiful thing. I couldn't help but ruin you. This is me saying I'm sorry. I'd take the pain from your eyes if I could. I'd take the pieces of your heart and mend them, even if it took me a thous...