my careless contagion

I wrote a post by this title three years ago. (Also, a movie by the same name exists.) My mind goes back to certain places where I think maybe if I had made a different choice, things would have turned out differently. I can feel bad about that the rest of my life if I want to. I don't. It's clear God used this incredible weakness and affinity for a woman to bring me back to Him. (I never wanted something so much in my life. The only thing stronger than that feeling is the urge to give her what she wants. It goes without saying my love for the Lord is greater.) You can say I got carried away, but, no, I loved her. I did things that were wrong in my chasing of her and paid a dear price. God took care of that. I made mistakes and was punished and made a commitment to stay on the straight and narrow. I've been doing okay. Always room for improvement.  Did I chase her wrong? Nothing is wrong with chasing a woman. Infringing upon her space and disrespecting her is wrong. If she ...

So, welcome back. I'm working on another post about a girl I chased for years. Some things I need to talk about first. Life is primarily about chasing two things: food and procreation. I didn't want to eat her and procreation was out of the question since we're both too old. What was it that drew me to her so long? What draws me still? Was it some basic, caveman urge to have her to myself? Was it a spiritual bond that seemed to go only one way? What tied me to her on a level I couldn't reach? Was it simple love? Or a deep admiration? An unwillingness to let go of something of great value? Maybe all of it. Maybe something else. But I will try to explain later.  What I need to talk about first is the art of chasing a female, which I'm admittedly not good at. Even if I was, I don't think it would have mattered. I honestly thought she wanted to move forward with me for a minute. Not sure what happened. Or if I imagined it. She didn't remember my birthday this ye...