my careless contagion

It's possible to relive your life in your head so many times you forget how things actually happened. It's possible to imagine so many scenarios that fix things you actually start to believe they would have made a difference. You know, we all have that fork-in-the-road moment we look back on. Do we really believe things would have turned out differently if we had gone the other route? Is life really just a choose-your-own-adventure book?  Right now, I'm imagining that I'm actually at that fork in the road, but I can take many different paths this time. I must choose wisely because the rest of my life depends on this moment.  My heart will always choose her. My body is old and tired, sometimes recalcitrant, and in many ways not what it used to be. Not even close. But, I imagine my body will follow my heart. My brain is on board, though it does not understand the unseen hand among us.  As much as my own journey was inevitable, do I believe that yours was a...

That Saturday morning when the hammer came down I begged her not to do it I said she shouldn't see me if she had those things to say I held her hand and prayed but I could feel she was a thousand miles away When she told me  what was in her heart I could not blame her neither could I look her in the eyes The tears fell on my hands my useless, stupid hands I knew it was coming but I was paralyzed I watched her as she dressed and she became even prettier right before my eyes I can see her there in the bathroom mirror in that beautiful dress We decided we couldn't see each other anymore as we parted the hot, humid air as we sat near each other but so far apart She had to go though it seemed early I knew she was already so far away As I held her one last time her body convulsed as it was her turn to cry and then her turn to leave I can't forget her beautiful smile her perfect face ...