The riskiest thing
Why am I afraid of you? I've tried to get over you, tried to move on. But there's too much of you in me. There's more you in me than me. I can't move on because you're a part of me. I don't understand it, but it's true. The capacity to understand what's happening in me isn't there. I have a rudimentary soul, and what's happened in me is extraordinary. It's you, little girl. You happened to me. You found the right place to sit in my heart, and you've made yourself at home. That hole in my heart feels like it was made for you, like it's a perfect fit. Yes, I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid of how I feel about you. My fingers tremble when I text you. My heart lurches toward you, straining against my ribs. I have to take deep breaths to calm myself. I have to close my eyes hard and tell myself she won't say those words that I dread. Yes, she could destroy me. And she has, twice now. Who gets to break my heart...