my careless contagion

Yeah. Random stuff. I wanted to dump a bunch of files and comment about them. It keeps me writing but in a different way. Writing about fun stuff draws me in that direction. It remains to be seen how fun this is. The more I go in the direction of happiness and fun, the more I will have that in my life. That is where I am now. Just having fun and trying to stay on the sunny side of the street. I'm happy and doing well, in case anyone wondered about me. If not, I understand. I didn't think about you either. Haha. Kidding. Whoever you are. Thanks for reading! And happy new year!  Yeah, I know. Nobody cares, especially at this stage in the game. But I'm going to have fun with this post, like it or not.  For some reason, when I open Instagram, I see stuff like this. I don't see models. I see this. Why? Because this is what I look at. IG learns and shows more stuff like this. Haha. Opossums and raccoons saying stupid stuff. I love it. Some of it is pretty bizarre. If you need...

I have to admit, stoicism has an allure for me. Too often, I've been overwhelmed, paralyzed, pummeled, and defeated by my emotions. But, just as often, I've told myself I don't care or that I shouldn't care. This pendulum swing is something I've struggled with most of my life. I've endured so much heartache, and acting like I didn't care only let the heartache continue. I was strong through so much pain. In the end, the pain overcame all the walls I built to keep it out. I don't consider myself an emotional person. Yes, I have emotions. As I've gotten older, the repressed stuff has gotten more vocal, so I've allowed myself to show my feelings more. I see it as a volcano letting off steam. Better to have a constant release of pressure than all at once. I can't repress my feelings forever, after all. Traditionally, though, that wasn't the case. As with many men, I was reared to be mostly emotionless. And I think that's wrong. ...