my careless contagion

Everything has Changed (a song with a rather passive title) by Taylor Swift (and some English guy named Ed) is a good metaphor for spring. When before everything was coiled in sleep, colored in grays and browns, and dead, now everything is new again. (And, one could argue, spring is also a good metaphor for a woman, as both can be unpredictable.) We all go through seasons. What season am I living through now? Could it be a season of rebirth? Renewal? Life springing out of the once-dead ground? This song even has an organic sound, all guitars and voices and brushes, much like what goes on during springtime. The melding of male and female voices could also point toward spring. And, well, love is an incredibly organic yet spiritual thing that often defies explanation. It grows under sometimes the harshest of conditions, poking out of dry earth or miry snow, undaunted. Love and spring are both miracles. All I know is my heart is as adamant and undeterred as spring. Am I taking this too far...

Autumn. It is a season of contradictions. On one hand, it is the harvest season; it is fullness and bountiful goodness, a reward for hard labor. On the other hand, once the world has reached full ripeness, there is nothing left but rot. The leaves fall, the pumpkins cave in upon themselves, and the apple orchard smells like a brewery. But, much like life itself, while it lasts, it is pure magic. Autumn is my favorite season. I was born on the cusp of fall in September. September means a return to school. It's a month of great change. Summer is still beating down its heat when the month begins. The memories made over the summer still linger, but they're fading like our suntans as we sit at our desks in school and we look longingly at the playground equipment we assault just twice a day instead of the whole outdoors all day long we had just weeks ago.  The month ends and we fill bleachers to watch football games, blankets on our laps as the sun sets and the big lights co...

I fought for you but you're fading fast like summer into fall like fall into winter I kept you close to my heart for the second summer now I feel you slipping away as the third winter approaches I let you go I had no choice I hated every moment of saying goodbye My heart is weary my body is broken and tired my mind aches as I imagine life without you The irony is I want you to go back go back to him go back forever  I want you to be happy I want to disappear let these shadows I've cast fall no more on you The pain I've caused is beyond my understanding My girl I can't ever make it up to you Love does not matter not anymore I thought it did but I was wrong Everything I've fought for is gone Everything I wanted I've lost You're just the latest thing I didn't deserve Goodbye, my love You were perfect in my arms We had our moment — our golden moment in the sun We held each other like it was the only th...