my careless contagion

To what or to whom can I liken her? A precious stone? A film star from a bygone era? How about a film star from a bygone era who was known for her love of precious stones? Perfect. Yes, that's what she is. She's perfect. But my analogy is imperfect. Marilyn was typecast as an airhead and easy. My girl is neither of those things. She is all class all the way and all the more inspiring. She's also unattainable. Whatever went through my head when I thought I could be with her — even though it was only for a brief moment — was madness. I may as well imagine myself with Marilyn Monroe. If she is Marilyn Monroe, then who am I? To whom should I liken myself? I am Jay Gatsby. But Jay Gatsby is fictional, whereas I am flesh and blood. Then I'm Joe DiMaggio. Okay, go ahead and laugh. I'm not a baseball legend. But I am in love with an unattainable woman, much like Joe DiMaggio was with Marilyn Monroe. He loved her long after their 9-month marriage ended. Yes, that...

How do I tell her how irreplaceable she is? How do I tell her without sounding trite or cumbersome? Words cannot convey the waves of gratitude I feel. Saying I love her does not suffice. I can show her, but that, too, is soon outgrown.  God will have to show me how to protect and appraise her. How do I show love to someone I love so much? I am just a man, yet I carry an electric current of feelings for her. How do I tell her when I think of making love to a woman, I think only of her, and the thought of being with any other woman makes me sick inside? When I walk with her and when I talk with her, I will be blind to all other women. I will see them. But not really. They will be obstacles I cannot run into like extras on a movie set. You see, she was the good girl who took care of things — the house, the kids, the finances, the family portraits, everything — while her husband was chasing women, often long into the night. While she laid awake wondering where he was and who he...

Some people you just miss. You know who I'm talking about. It's hard to explain why, but no one fills their shoes. The easiest way for me to say it is she's my irreplaceable . We all have one. She's mine. There is no one like her on God's green earth. T here will never be another like her. What she is made of must have been plucked from the stars and the moon and the fire in a lion's heart.  She's like the first time you tied your own shoes. She's like your first kiss. She's your forever and your always. She's what makes you come home every night, the sweetness of your sleep, the marrow in your bones, the future and the past and everything in between. She's that thing you get once in your life, and, if you hang onto her, you get to keep her forever. She's like your first car. Like your first time having sex. Like your first stereo that broke. But that's the one you wanted, so you got another one just like it, and it broke to...

Like a gift, you've given your body to me. I don't take this precious thing you've put in my hands lightly. I will not drop you. I will not break you. You've been dropped too many times, my dear, and it will take your heart a long time to know I won't drop you too.  Don't for a moment think I don't know what it means for you to give me your body like this. My fingers trace the scars on your heart where you were broken and betrayed. I know you're putting your heart on the line once again and expecting the same. But I will not drop you, and I won't betray you. My heart clings to yours, and if I dropped yours, I'd drop mine too. We're tangled together and wrapped around each other with a love that has no beginning and no end.  I've studied your curves all day long. I try and fail to contain my gazes to when you've looked away, but you know I've been undressing you all day. So as my mouth tastes your mouth and my hands ...

Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Maybe this is it. Maybe it's already gone. What I wanted and what I needed were two different things. Who's to tell me that tomorrow will be any different?  When she looks in on me, I'm sure what she sees alarms her, pricks her heart, dismays her, and shakes her. There's a whole lot of bleeding going on in here, girl. You may need your goggles on. You may need to hold your breath and pinch your nose. There are wounds here being sutured tight, but in the dimness of the light, you can see my face gone blank, gone white, just ... gone.  Do you know how long I've been like this? When you knew me as a boy, I was already so damaged, defeated, destitute. I wonder if your heart saw my pain, took pity, and decided to love me. I wonder if you ever knew how much I would love you.  No one was ever meant to see and hear these words. But, I've let you see them all. I've invited you right in. Does it make you feel luc...

*This song is clearly about the end of a relationship and the effects of that on the children. This is very much where my mind goes at this moment. My son is trying hard to not let any of this affect him, what's happening in his world. I knew there would be a price to pay for leaving my wife, but I never wanted my son to pay that price. He's trying so hard to be strong. I know his world is in turmoil. Even though I feel like he's been taken care of in amazing ways, I still can't help but feel shattered by what he's going through. When he goes to bed, I'm not there to say goodnight. When he cries out for me in the night, I am not there. When he wakes in the morning, I'm nowhere to be found.  When he's sick, what comfort am I?  My son, what have I done to you?* Precious and fragile things Need special handling My God what have we done to You? We always try to share The tenderest of care Now look what we have put You through Things get damage...