An ode to Elizabeth Turner
If you read here any length of time, you may have noticed a name keeps popping up: Liz Turner. She's a model. I don't know much about her, but since when has that stopped me from writing nice things about a woman? Okay, I do know a little bit. Follow along? Suffice to say, I'm clueless about women. Okay, I'm more than clueless. I'm a little soft in the head, perhaps. Okay, I'm retarded. What, I can't use that word? How about you pretend you didn't read it? I'm retarded, after all. I can't help it. Anyway, men like me don't get the girl. Or, I'm realizing, any girl . I'm just a dolt, I guess. I used to read Archie comics when I was a kid. Archie had a hard time deciding which girl to be with: Betty or Veronica. If only we could all be so conflicted. Honestly, I always thought Betty was the better choice, even though she was kind of, um, dim. She was more down to earth and was probably more fun than snooty, rich Veronica. By the way, ...