my careless contagion

Is there something to be said something to be done to take this pain away? The world is cracked and I am too The world is dying I know the feeling What makes this life worth living? I haven't a clue the answer isn't in me nor is it in you Love is a lie here today, gone tomorrow life is a beast devouring souls What is the point, dear God? what is this senseless drama about? what is the rhyme the reason, the season It's all broken broken on top of broken lying next to broken utterly, stupidly broken Scars don't make you stronger pain doesn't make you wiser all of this endeavors to make one ugly I don't have anything left I stare blankly at the sky without even the courage or will to die.

There's something about this something about me something about you that threatens to break me in two There's something on the wind getting closer filling me with excitement filling me with dread Is it you, my perfect coming to me at last is it your heart I hear crying out like mine This is an epic thing I am not a man of renown I am not a beast I am just flesh  I've run out of words run out of hope and other things  that look like it Here I sit alone again unable to move unable to breathe If God sees me if God hears me if anyone sees me if anyone hears me Please understand I am just a man broken now now less than a man There is nowhere to go nothing to do but sit and wait stirring inside My face shows my age my hands show my rage my heart shows my pain and humiliation But my feet cannot walk away. 

She always came to me as a whisper in the night in the rain in my moments of deepest pain She was my forever my stranger my saint my permanent stain Whatever happened to us – shattered and twisted us – through the broken years, the hungry march of time? You were ungraspable almost unreal you created us strangled us put us to sleep When you left me I died my greatest death you came back to me expecting open arms You showed me what it was like to love and die at the same time you made it clear my destiny was to always be broken, broken, broken My dear muse your soft voice has faded you left me for the last time I see your dark love for me as a lesson learned too late My lover, my friend you broke me and leaving you has broken me again My muse, my dear muse This unconscionable decision has killed your killing time your feast of hate on my heart Your hungry eyes that only wanted more grow d...

This is all things bleeding this is all the end what can I say today to speak comfort into you? This is things broken and this is things spoken down to the wire and feelings on fire What I imagined for you is so much better than this what I always wanted was perfect and painless In the night and in the day I know you cry out I know you feel for something beyond this hollow place The pain won't last forever the night gives way to dawn the scars will remain but it won't feel the same You are held in His hand held close while you cry In the shadow of His wings in the blink of an eye One day this will be a memory and not a moment of death in this world of pain I will hold you close, forever to my chest We will breathe the same air I will get tangled in your hair share everything we can share and feel broken no more One day we'll get there you and me holding hands walking forward into a brand new day One day I...

How can I win when I cannot stand how can I rise with such a weight on my back? What irony all my traveling all my running away has brought me here face to face with what drove me away Sickness bubbles up in me when I consider what I've lost and the sad exchange of what I've gained If what I hear is music then it is a dirge if what I feel is pain then it remains like a stain Lost -- that is my word for this lost like I've never been found "I can't even count the cost of what I've lost," said the sad, sad man There is a calmness to this death this is a special way to go there is no fighting no wide eyes no questions, very little pain It's like a song without a real ending it just fades out it just pans out like the end of a movie Like watching that sad, sad man walk away, turn a corner and you're all alone like losing a love you never had.