my careless contagion

I sit I stir I sit again I stir again I wait I sigh there are so many images flashing in my mind's eye The windows reveal nothing my prayers never cease you've bound me to you I have nowhere to go What I've learned, dear is my end is near I've grown old unexpectantly Waiting for you to reappear is a game I'd rather not play Holding my breath I claw at my chest unable to move watch me dissipate sublimate rust away decay.

All those miles of text between us all those songs I played that spoke for me All that time -- 21 years! and you finally put it together you finally figured it out what my love looks like I poured my heart out for you my lifeblood too my time, my talents my everything Only to be spurned only to be burned beaten, left behind well, not this time Our time has run out our morning has turned to night and our night to this What is it driving me this way? what was it that got in our way? I don't know but it isn't my love, dear.

I was a golden boy blessed in so  many ways but now I see the end of all those blessings I was something, for sure but now I'm something else fastened to this hateful world like a junkyard dog to his chain Let me go on The sunshine I basked in was so full of promise the night was my terror and those nights were so long How many dreams have chased my soul how many years were lost below how did I not die a thousand times? Golden boy your day is done but you've a new golden boy to see running into that same sun.