A mosaic of memories — 20 years
One of the most difficult things to reconcile when confronted with the death of a relationship is the mosaic of memories. I say "mosaic" because that's how they appear in my mind. They are little shards of time that I've pieced together and layered into an overall "picture." They don't reflect reality as it was. They are something new. The good and bad memories flow into one another. The bad memories are lightly interspersed and aren't nearly as shiny as the good memories. It's a false recollection, the way they're put together, but it's all I have now — just a mosaic of memories. What do I do with them? How do I make sense of them? They come up randomly, seemingly at odds with the feel of the moment. They force their way to the front of my brain and shove other thoughts aside. They sit and stare at me until I decide where they should go on the mosaic. Are they good? Are they bad? Are they just random moments? Do they mean anything...