my careless contagion

It feels good to close the door on this year. Holy crap. It was a decidedly horrid year. And now it is in its waning moments. This was the year I ran out of everything. It was like the world stopped. A lot of people know what I'm talking about. Suicides went off the charts. Drug and alcohol abuse soared. People lost hope. And we got to see what the new world order looks like.  Will next year be better? We can only hope. And pray. And pray some more. Heads up: this is a long post. Kinda hard to sum up this disastrous year with few words.   I close this year with a confession of error. I was wrong about something very important to me, something which I sought God about literally thousands of times (or, it is possible I was simply unable to do what God told me to do, but the outcome is the same). I am beyond humbled. My consolation is everything was submitted to God long ago. This thing needs more prayer because I'm not settled in my understanding. I have an easier time accepting...

What can I say about a woman of whom I've said too much already? A little bit more. Comparing our lives — the quality of which derived from our internal world — it's easy to see she is far and above this humble author. Cindy is decidedly too good for me. She is, seemingly without trying, what a Christian woman should be. To my eyes, it is effortless; she simply embodies many virtues. When I think of what a mother, wife, or what a woman should be, she always comes to mind. Thanks to her, I now know how a woman should be. Thanks to her, I now know how a woman should love. Thanks to her, I now know how to love, period. She has always been — and will always be — my measure of what is good and right and beautiful in a woman.  Photographs of us taken three years ago show the mismatch. I wore my Sturgis t-shirt, and she wore a TeamMates shirt. I wore more than that, though. (ha, yes, I was fully clothed) I wore the scars of a difficult life. She weathered her difficulties a...

  Clint Black's 1989 debut album featured the debut single — A Better Man (for which I found perhaps the original video!). I've heard this song countless times. It's safe to say it's a classic, especially because it continues to get airplay 30 years after its release. And it echoes the sentiment I carry in my heart for Cindy, the girl who gave me the greatest love story of my life.   What do I like about this song? It's simple and accessible. It's not overwrought. And it's an honest assessment of a relationship that is no more. It's an all-around good song, and it clearly defines how I feel about the woman I continue to love.  I could not have found a purer soul to fall in love with. I could not have found a woman more perfect for me. Though I'm no longer upset and distressed because our relationship ended, it goes without saying I wish it hadn't. I miss her. I always have. And always will. She felt like the missing piece. Without her, I ...