(An edited) Farewell
I think all men (perhaps especially those employed as spies) desire at least one person with whom they feel they can share anything. This blog has fulfilled that role in my life and has become, in effect, my mistress (because, unfortunately, I cannot marry her, as she is not a real person but, rather, a one-way forum for dispensing my thoughts and feelings). But the time has come to kiss her sweet mouth — that never uttered a word — goodbye. She heard much, but she never told a soul. If I was a spy, I would keep coming back to her. The purpose of this blog was to help me deal with my divorce. I started it days before my divorce was finalized in 2018. Unfortunately, since then, my life has overwhelmed me in an unexpected and disgraceful way. I held onto two things during the most difficult days: the love I had for a woman named Cindy and walking with God. But, today, I am not in a healthy place. I'm not where I wanted to be when I ended this blog. I contemplate suicide ever...