my careless contagion

If you read here any length of time, you may have noticed a name keeps popping up: Liz Turner. She's a model. I don't know much about her, but since when has that stopped me from writing nice things about a woman? Okay, I do know a little bit. Follow along?  Suffice to say, I'm clueless about women. Okay, I'm more than clueless. I'm a little soft in the head, perhaps. Okay, I'm retarded. What, I can't use that word? How about you pretend you didn't read it? I'm retarded, after all. I can't help it. Anyway, men like me don't get the girl. Or, I'm realizing, any girl .  I'm just a dolt, I guess. I used to read Archie comics when I was a kid. Archie had a hard time deciding which girl to be with: Betty or Veronica. If only we could all be so conflicted. Honestly, I always thought Betty was the better choice, even though she was kind of, um, dim. She was more down to earth and was probably more fun than snooty, rich Veronica. By the way, ...

Little kids seem to go through phases. I don’t know much about phases little girls go through, since I don’t have a girl, but I’m pretty sure one of the girl phases involves unicorns. Little boys, on the other hand, I know. Although I don’t remember much about my childhood, I’m pretty sure I was a little boy once upon a time.  What were my obsessions in the 1970s, ’80s, and perhaps the beginning of the ’90s? Taking things apart, for starters. One of my earliest memories is of taking apart dandelion flower heads in my backyard. I tried to take apart my dad’s easy chair, too, slicing into the pleather handrest to see what was inside. He did not appreciate that much, as I recall. I had a severe obsession with LEGO blocks which persisted beyond puberty. My brothers’ habit of destroying my cities when I wasn’t looking didn’t deter me either. It just gave me more to work on, ensuring many more hours would be spent fiddling with my make-believe world. ...