my careless contagion

   I don’t know exactly when it started. I think I started watching TV with the closed captioning on when my son was a baby (so I wouldn’t wake him up). But he’s not a baby anymore. So why do I still watch TV with the closed captioning?  An article at medium.com called “Why Gen Z Loves Closed Captioning” explores the reasons why we’re seeing a surge in Generation Z kids (born mid-1990s to mid-2000s) watching TV with closed captioning. These are kids with no hearing impairment. It’s just ... odd.  One of the reasons why Gen Z kids may like captions is because it helps them deal with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). I never thought about this until I read the article, but I have long exhibited ADHD symptoms (in fact, I didn’t even finish the above-mentioned article). Could this be a reason why I prefer watching TV with the captions on? Maybe.  It seems captions help those with ADHD focus and block out distractions more easily. I don’t feel re...

It's safe to say I'm driven. I'm not driven in an ordinary way. I haven't made anything out of myself in my 41 years. It's more like a personal drive, beating myself at something, having my way in some insipid way. It's important for a moment, but there's no real reason for it.  It's a pointless way of being driven. There's no payoff. It's not good for me. I push myself often to the point of fatigue and beyond. I've gone many years with little sleep, and to what end? Do I live in a comfortable house? Do I have a sizeable pension waiting for me? A home in the suburbs? I have nothing.  I have not failed to notice the never-ending stream of people in various media who are also driven. Many of them have horrible backgrounds, stories of neglect, abuse, hardscrabble upbringings, etc. At some point, and perhaps erroneously, I connected the dots. I believe abuse can often lead to being driven.  I watched the Netflix documentary of Quincy Jo...