my careless contagion

  This is a long post I've been working on since last year. A lack of time and health issues kept me from finishing it. I apologize for the haphazard way in which it is written. This is hopefully the last time I will write about this subject in detail. It is entirely too much introspection, and I don't believe God wants me to see myself as a victim (because that can lead to a wrong attitude), though He does want me to understand the problem. Trigger warning: this post contains content about childhood abuse/sexual abuse. I frequently have the opportunity to review books. This one, Being Mean: A Memoir of Sexual Abuse and Survival by Patricia Eagle, came across my desk last year. Patricia's father sexually abused her from the age of 4-13, but the thing about abuse is that it lives on, informing the rest of our lives. It's that legacy the book explores. It's that legacy of abuse that I, too, am attempting to deal with, and will most likely deal with...

Disclaimer: If you feel you may be triggered by discussion of childhood abuse, sexual abuse, or anything akin to that, please know these are discussed in this post. I apologize in advance for the messy way this is written. This was a difficult thing to write. I'm writing strictly from my own perspective, however, I realize childhood trauma's effects look different in different people. All I know is myself, and that's all I can write about, so that's what will follow. Childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is a monster. An article here makes it clear it isn't going away; in fact, it has only proliferated in the digital age. So many kids have been traumatized by CSA, and, as they enter adulthood, they bring that trauma with them. I know this firsthand, as I was one of those kids.  Some of the stats for CSA are hard to comprehend. Some sources say up to 30% of men and up to 40% of women have experienced CSA. Those numbers are probably low if you factor in non-cont...