my careless contagion

The future starts in our minds.  We have the most wonderful faculty between our ears — our imagination — that allows us to create, solve problems, and sometimes literally see into the future.  The future of me is a bleak prospect. I have endured tremendous setbacks and unimaginable pain in the last few years (with no one to blame but myself). As I lick my wounds, it's almost too easy to try to imagine my way out of this small place in which I've found myself. This is the key to my survival. I have to imagine a better future for myself and then believe in it.  There was a time in my nascent youth when I loved to draw. My artistic abilities were slightly above average, but I didn't pursue drawing because I saw a future in it. I just loved it. And all drawings start with a sketch, a few tentative lines at first and then bolder as the image takes shape. Before anything is put down on paper, however, it starts in the artist's imagination. The future of me is a bla...

Stability. Never had it. Not in my friendships. Not in my relationships. Not in my dwelling places. Not in my head. Nor in the pit of my stomach.  I know. The only thing in life that stays the same is change. I've become really good at adapting to new situations. I guess that's the upside. I've written about this before. So why am I writing about it again? Because I've moved again. This makes five times in less than five years I've moved. And I count about 15 total moves in my lifetime. I just want some stability. I want to settle down. But I know myself. I'll quickly get bored with that, too. I've mentioned my ADHD-type behaviors before in my post about closed captions (I think), but, honestly, this time I didn't want to move. And I prayed about it, asking for a specific thing to happen and it did, and now here I am. The counterpoint of my ADHD behavior seems to be my OCD stuff, which is an overcompensation for lack of control, I think. I used...