my careless contagion

She always came to me as a whisper in the night in the rain in my moments of deepest pain She was my forever my stranger my saint my permanent stain Whatever happened to us – shattered and twisted us – through the broken years, the hungry march of time? You were ungraspable almost unreal you created us strangled us put us to sleep When you left me I died my greatest death you came back to me expecting open arms You showed me what it was like to love and die at the same time you made it clear my destiny was to always be broken, broken, broken My dear muse your soft voice has faded you left me for the last time I see your dark love for me as a lesson learned too late My lover, my friend you broke me and leaving you has broken me again My muse, my dear muse This unconscionable decision has killed your killing time your feast of hate on my heart Your hungry eyes that only wanted more grow d...

I held you today and it felt like a thousand times before you -- falling to pieces and me -- unable to catch them We are broken never to be put back together we are liars if we believe anything else I was never any good for you but I always tried I loved you with all my might you were the storm I was always chasing What I feel and what I felt are not the same anymore there is a strangeness in hugging you -- almost a panic like when you've lost your house key I can't ever go back home what's left of it will never feel the same There's always been that sadness behind my eyes you didn't put it there but you fed it diligently You and I were a beautiful disaster held together by duct tape and memories, always trying and always failing to remember why we made sense I didn't destroy us I just let us go and all those falling pieces found their home scattered around us I knew a little girl lost but she was...

Your back is turned but I can see your face in the mirror Your eyes are closed but your whole world is open to me Pressing myself on you is like a dream come true The only thing that takes away my ache is crashing into you Girl, you're everything I need right now and I know I'm everything you want we're trading spit and trading paint When I first laid eyes on you I never knew we'd go down this way -- mean, like animals My hands are possessive my mind is full of adjectives my mouth whispers expletives and you make the best noises I want this to last forever but it's just as well this kind of forever would bleed me dry When your eyes open and I'm past spent we carry on like nothing happened we smile at ourselves in the mirror before we say goodbye.